A Clean Well-Lighted Place
Ernest
Hemingway (1933)
It was late and every one
had left the cafe except an old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of
the tree made against the electric light. In the day time the street
was dusty; but at night the dew settled the dust and the old man liked to sit
late because he was deaf and now at night it was quiet and he felt the
difference. The two waiters inside the cafe knew that the old man was a little
drunk, and while he was a good client they knew that if he became too drunk he
would leave without paying, so they kept
watch on him.
“Last
week he tried to commit suicide,” one waiter said.
“Why?”
“He was in
despair.”
“What
about?”
“Nothing.”
“How do you know
it was nothing?”
“He has plenty
of money.”
They sat together at a
table that was close against the wall near the door of the cafe and
looked at the terrace where the tables were all empty except where the old
man sat in the shadow of the leaves of the tree that moved slightly in the
wind. A girl and a soldier went by in the street. The street light shone
on the brass number on his collar. The girl wore no head covering and
hurried beside him.
“The
guard will pick him up,” one waiter said.
“What does it
matter if he gets what he’s after?”
“He had better
get off the street now. The guard will get him. They went by five minutes
ago.”
The old man
sitting in the shadow rapped on his saucer with his glass. The younger
waiter went over to him.
“What do
you want?”
The old man looked at
him. “Another brandy,” he said.
“You’ll be
drunk,” the waiter said. The old man looked at him. The waiter went away.
“He’ll
stay all night,” he said to his colleague. “I’m sleepy now. I
never get into bed before three o’clock. He should have killed
himself last week.”
The waiter took
the brandy bottle and another saucer from the counter inside the cafe and
marched out to the old man’s table. He put down the saucer and poured
the glass full
of brandy.
“You should have
killed yourself last week,” he said to the deaf man. The old man motioned
with his finger.
“A little
more,” he said. The waiter poured on into the glass so that the brandy slopped
over and ran down the stem into the top saucer of the pile. “Thank
you,” the old man said. The waiter took the bottle back inside the
cafe. He sat down at the table with his colleague again.
“He’s
drunk now,” he said.
“He’s drunk
every night.”
“What did
he want to kill himself for?”
“How should I
know.”
“How did he do
it?”
“He hung himself
with a rope.”
“Who cut him
down?”
“His
niece.”
“Why did he do
it?”
“For his
soul.”
“How much money
has he got?”
“He’s got
plenty.”
“He must be
eighty years old.”
“Anyway I should
say he was eighty.”
“I wish he would
go home. I never get to bed before three o’clock. What kind of hour
is that to go to bed?”
“He stays up
because he likes it.”
“He’s
lonely. I’m not lonely. I have a wife waiting in bed for me.”
“He had a wife
once too.”
“A wife would be
no good to him now.”
“You can’t
tell. He might be better with a wife.”
“His niece looks
after him.”
“I know. You
said she cut him down.”
“I
wouldn’t want to be that old. An old man is a nasty thing.”
“Not always.
This old man is clean. He drinks without spilling. Even now, drunk. Look
at him.”
“I don’t
want to look at him. I wish he would go home. He has no regard for those who
must work.”
The old man looked
from his glass across the square, then over at the waiters.
“Another
brandy,” he said, pointing to his glass. The waiter who was in a hurry came
over.
“Finished,”
he said, speaking with that omission of syntax stupid people employ when
talking to drunken people or foreigners. “No more tonight. Close
now.”
“Another,”
said the old man.
“No.
Finished.” The waiter wiped the edge of the table with a towel and shook
his head. The old man stood up, slowly counted the saucers, took
a leather coin purse from his pocket and paid for the drinks, leaving
half a peseta tip. The waiter watched him go down the street, a very old
man walking unsteadily but with dignity,. “Why didn’t
you let him stay and drink?” the unhurried waiter asked. They were putting
up the shutters. “It is not half-past two.”
“I want
to go home to bed.”
“What is an
hour?”
“More to me than
to him.”
“An hour is the
same.”
“You talk like
an old man yourself. He can buy a bottle and drink at home.”
“It’s not the
same.”
“No, it is
not,” agreed the waiter with a wife. He did not wish to be unjust. He was
only in a hurry.
“And you?
You have no fear of going home before your usual hour?”
“Are you trying
to insult me?”
“No, hombre,
only to make a joke.”
“No,” the
waiter who was in a hurry said, rising from putting on the metal shutters.
“I have confidence. I am all confidence.”
“You have youth,
confidence, and a job,” the older waiter said. “You have everything.”
“And what
do you lack?”
“Everything but
work.”
“You have
everything I have.”
“No. I have
never had confidence and l’m not young.”
“Come on. Stop
talking nonsense and lock up.”
“I am of those
who like to stay late at the cafe,” the older waiter said.
“With all those
who do not want to go to bed. With all those who need a light for the
night.”
“I want
to go home and into bed.”
“We are of two
different kinds,” the older waiter said. He was now dressed to go home.
“It is not only a question of youth and confidence although those things
are very beautiful. Each night I am reluctant to close up because there
may be someone who needs the cafe.”
“Hombre,
there are bodegas open all night long.”
“You do not
understand. This is a clean and pleasant cafe. It is well lighted. The light
is very good and also, now, there are shadows of the leaves.”
“Good
night,” said the younger waiter.
“Good
night,” the other said. Turning off the electric light he continued the conversation
with himself. It is the light of course but it is necessary that the place be
clean and light. You do not want music. Certainly you do not want music. Nor can
you stand before a bar with dignity although that is all that is provided for these
hours. What did he fear? It was not fear or dread. It was a nothing that he knew
too well. It was all a nothing and a man was nothing too. It was only that and
light was all it needed and a certain cleanness and order. Some lived in it and
never felt it but he knew it was already nada y pues nada y pues nada.
Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be
nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada
us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver
us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with
thee. He smiled and stood before a bar with a shining steam pressure
coffee machine.
“What’s
yours?” asked the barman.
“Nada.”
“Otro loco
mas,” said the barman and turned away.
“A little
cup,” said the waiter.
The barman poured it
for him.
“The light is very
bright and pleasant but the bar is unpolished,” the waiter said.
The barman looked at him but
did not answer. It was too late at night for conversation.
“You want
another copita?” the barman asked.
“No, thank
you,” said the waiter and went out. He disliked bars and bodegas. A clean,
well-lighted cafe was a very different thing. Now, without thinking further, he
would go home to his room. He would lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he
would go to sleep. After all, he said to himself, it is probably only insomnia.
Many must have it